Join me as I attempt to help you understand the power you have during the challenging time of your beloved pet nearing its departure to Heaven.
If we haven't met yet, my name is Rachel Shirley. I am a Pet Loss Grief Coach and Author who is actively going through my journey of anticipatory grief. Below is a picture of my world with my two beautiful, handsome boys, Spencer and Charley.
Spencer is the oldest one who has been declining for quite some time now. You can see his distinguished gray hairs on his usually delighted face.
On this particular day, he was not a happy boy. He was in pain and very uncomfortable from some cysts/tumors that had appeared all over his body. (More on that in other posts)
Sometimes, you must remember your significant role during your sweet ones' final days, the unknown amount left here on earth.
If you are like me, I can easily send my mind, body, and soul into autopilot in an attempt to control, manage, and make my sweet boy's last days the best possible.
Controling the Controlables
Every day, I wake up asking our Heavenly Father to let Spencer's final days be happy ones without too much pain. I also ask God to give me the continued strength to identify and respond to the things I can control to help Spencer and to help me and my family as we go through this long journey of anticipatory grief.
Prayer works, my friend. You may not have your prayers answered as you would like, or the outcomes might be confusing; however, our Heavenly Father loves you so much, and He deeply loves and cares for your sweet one.
Remembering Who is in Control Through Your Pet Loss Anticipatory Grief Journey
In my desperate times of seeing Spencer going through what he is, I remind myself that our beloved pets have expiration dates just like we do. I write about this in my book "Pet Loss And Divine Healing: A Compassionate Guide For Navigating Your Devastating Loss."
God has the final say, and our job is to trust His ways and timing. I know that sounds harsh, but the truth is that the more we communicate with God, the more we can let go of trying to control the uncontrollable. He will guide us to people, places, and ideas that will help us give our beloved pets the best care possible.
Staying Present for Precious Moments
If you don't believe in God, that's okay. Everyone is on their journey; perspective is everything regarding life and death. Contact me to learn more about the God who created you and your sweet one. He's always available to you. :)
By letting go of the questions of when they will pass, how they will pass, whether they will be in pain and whether they will be tragic or peaceful and leaving that up to God, you allow yourself to be fully present for your sweet one caring for them in the way you hoped for.
No Regrets or at Least Minimizing Them
Life can be full of regrets. I don't want either of us to have any regrets about the final days we get to spend with our beloved pets. By controlling what you can and leaving the rest in our loving Heavenly Father's hands, you will make the most precious moments for you and your sweet one.
My fellow pet loss anticipatory grief friend, you and I will get through this one day at a time, one moment at a time, with grace, perseverance, and resistance. Make these final years, months, and days the best you can because your love story never dies, and you will see your sweet one in Heaven again.
Cry hard, laugh even harder, and always remember you are a good momma and daddy; your beloved pet knows how hard this is for you. Faith, love, and hope will guide you through this, and so will I as we take this journey together.
Keep Your Heart Open...Forever
You can do this. This journey can be filled with agonizing, frustrating, confusing, and outright hard times. You will persevere because you allow your heart to be fully present and engage in the care of your sweet one.
You won't regret it, even though it might seem impossible to hold it all together. I believe in you, and I'm here for you! More importantly, God is with you and here for you too!
From my heart to yours,
Rachel
Also, I will be sharing and writing more about the parts of this journey that have been agonizing, not just the sweet, tender moments, if you know what I mean. Blessings to you and your families, sweet ones!