You might ask, why is the word gift in the same sentence as acceptance?
Honestly, it's one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Hold on, my friend. Because you know I have your best interest at heart, I invite you to lean in as I share a message of hope along with a helpful perspective to contemplate as you grieve the loss of your beloved pet.
Together, let's focus on the gift of acceptance, which is an essential part of the grieving process.
Though it might be hard to hear, acceptance is a valuable gift that can lead to peace and healing.
Below is an excerpt titled "The Gift of Acceptance" from my book "Pet Loss And Divine Healing: A Compassionate Guide For Navigating Your Devastating Loss."
© Copyright 2024 by Rachel Shirley. All rights reserved.
When our beloved pets approach the end of their lives, our emotions and
instincts might lead us to attempt to take charge of the situation. However, the reality is, in most instances, we are not in control.
Diseases and accidents happen, and there is rarely anything we can do to change the outcome.
We don't have some magical power to keep them alive, and no amount of prayer, positive thinking, or human expertise can change God's plan for the lives of our pets.
The Bible says our days are numbered (Job 14:5). He has marked out a plan for our lives and our pets' lives.
As I mentioned, we all have an expiration date, and there's no way around it. When it's our or our pets' time—it's simply time. The more we resist this simple but hard-to-accept truth, the more we stay stuck and unable to move into a place of acceptance, which is part of the grieving process.
Acceptance is hard to grasp, but when you do grasp it, it will come with peace and purpose.
So, how do we accept what we want to deny?
Well, this is all about having an insightful perspective. It's been my experience that when we humble ourselves enough to recognize and understand that God is the one who calls the shots, we naturally release our human tendency to think we know what's best or how events should unfold in our lives.
Sure, we are partners with Him, but ultimately, He has the final say. He is the one who created your loved one, and He is the one who knows when their expiration date is.
Whenever I start to think I know more than God, I experience the most pain and disappointment in my heart.
His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8–9) because He is God, the Creator of the universe, so He sees everything and knows what is best for His creation. Thinking I have a say in the matter is futile.
This doesn't mean God doesn't care about what we want or think. He sure does.
After all, He is a good Father and loves us unconditionally and without fault. He will never withhold His best from us. We must remember that He has the vantage point of seeing the whole picture of our lives, which means He knows what is best for us, even when it might not make sense or feel good.
I know that might be hard to hear, but I promise you that there is freedom with acceptance.
Acceptance frees your heart from needless suffering.
We all suffer; it's the amount and frequency of it that we get to control. We cannot control the outcome of our pet's death, but we can control our reaction to it and how long we let it impact our joy.
I suggest that the next time you find yourself ruminating on the last days and moments of your pet's life in despair, you try to remember the gift of acceptance and how much freedom you have in letting yourself off the hook for being human and powerless over the things you could not control.
My beloved, what would happen if you simply accepted your sweet one's passing just as it happened?
Would that make you a terrible pet parent?
No.
Would it change the love you both experienced?
No.
Rather, it would allow you to focus on the things that matter most to you in your grief— the memories of their beautiful life and the lessons they taught that you carry with you.
I can tell you for sure that the sooner you move into acceptance, the sooner you'll stop beating yourself up over what you couldn't possibly have controlled or changed.
That's a great place to start taking good care of yourself while on this healing journey.
Acceptance is a valuable gift we can give ourselves during the grieving process.
It allows us to embrace the natural course of life and let go of unnecessary suffering caused by resisting the inevitable.
By surrendering to God, acknowledging our human limitations, and accepting the reality of our pet's passing, we can find peace, purpose, and healing in our hearts.
Rachel's Reflections and Reminders:
Accepting the reality of your pet's passing is essential, even though it can be tempting to resist the outcome.
Realize that, as humans, we have limitations and cannot control certain outcomes, especially in matters of life and death.
Acceptance brings peace and purpose, allowing us to align with the natural order of life.
While we cannot control the outcome, we can control how we react to it by choosing acceptance over resistance.
Recognize that being human means we are not all-powerful, and it's okay to let go of trying to control the uncontrollable.
My Final Thoughts:
Beloved friend, as you marinate on and contemplate upon the perspectives I've laid out for you, please remember you have the ultimate say in how you choose to heal your heart. Our Heavenly Father is waiting like a gentleman for you to invite Him into your heart so He can get to work on providing you the rest, restoration, comfort, and healing your heart desires.
From my heart to yours,
Rachel